Gospel Journey #2: Control

After I asked Jesus into my heart, I did start going to the church where my ex-girlfriend attended. Things were a little shaky (lots of her friends thought I had "converted" to win her back... sigh...) but there I was in the high school group of Rolling Hills Covenant Church.

A few weeks in, I arranged a meeting with the youth pastor (Dennis Wadley--an incredible man!). I wanted to ask him a bunch of questions that I was sure would stump him (like where did dinosaurs come from). I remember sitting with him on a Wednesday afternoon in his car in a parking lot overlooking a cemetery.

I had lots of questions, but Dennis asked me how things were going and how I was doing. I told him that I had asked Jesus into my heart. He replied by asking me if I had given control of my life to God. I said, "What do you mean? I was told all I needed to do was to ask Jesus into my heart!"

He said that to be a Christian means that you live your life for God, that you give him control of your life and you follow him. I told him that I dind't know that was part of the deal, that I hadn't done that, and that I didn't know if I was comfortable doing that.

I remember him then telling me about something he called "abundant life." He told me his own story about how he had come to know God and learned to give up control of his own life to God. He told me that a life lived for God is much greater and more fulfilling than any life we could live on our own. Sitting there listening to him I could tell that he really believed this, it wasn't just a line.

I remember saying, "So how does it work? You give God control of your life and does he call you and leave you a message about what you are supposed to do? Or does he write you a letter?"

Dennis said, "God has written you 66 letters. They are the books of the Bible."

When I heard him say that, I thought, "Oh THAT was a line!"

But Dennis did give me a bible and told me to read it and write down questions I had. I never had a bible before (well, I did have a Gideon's New Testament that was King James version--but I could never understand it whenever I tried to read it).

So I left that meeting with a bible, a clear sense now that I wasn't a Christian, and a decision that I needed to make--whether or not I was going to give control of my life to God. This was a big deal for me. I was very much into controlling (or trying to control) everything in my life. I didn't want to just let go of the steering wheel and let God take over. What would he do with my life? Where would he send me? It was too much uncertainty for me to agree to.

That following Saturday night, at the High School group meeting, Dennis talked about the importance of sharing our faith with others. They handed out these bracelets with 5 color beads on them: black (for our sins), red (for the blood of Jesus), white (for the clean slate we have because of forgiveness), green (for our growth in the Christian life), and gold (for the riches that we'll have in heaven). He told us to wear them and then use them to share the gospel with others.

Everybody got one, but Dennis also said, "Don't put this on if you are not a Christian, because this isn't your story." I remember thinking to myself that I knew I couldn't put it on. I also felt really bad because I also knew that my friends in the youth group were thinking I wasn't wearing the bracelet because I didn't think it was cool. I felt horrible! I wanted to tell them that I was trying to take this stuff seriously and wasn't ready yet, but I couldn't.

After the meeting that night, I went home and was sitting in my room on my bed. I was holding the bracelet in my hand and wondering whether or not I could give control of my life over to God. I still didn't know specifically what it would mean. But I thought to myself, "Well, who could do a better job controlling my life? Me or God? I haven't really done that good a job so far, and it seems that if God is going to promise abundant life, a life that he controls probably will be better than any life I might eek out on my own." (It's amazing to me that I can remember the specific details of my thoughts that night this many years later).

With that thought, I was convinced. Life controlled by God would HAVE to be better than a life with me at the helm.

What happened next was one of the most pivotal moments in my life. I put the bracelet on and as I did, I prayed, "God, I give you control of my life."

There was no magic, no rustling of the curtains, no flickering of the lights. But nothing in my life was the same.

I felt peace. I felt comfort. It was like something clicked inside me and more of me was now the way it was supposed to be. I felt freedom knowing that now God was in control.

The Joy of Family Ministry in Downtown

What's it like doing ministry with four children in downtown?

Well, take today for instance. Sunday, just before noon we're leaving the Pacific Gaslamp Theatre, where Harbor Downtown meets for worship every week. It had been a good morning, and Lainie and the kids and I are leaving the theatre, heading for the car.

First, right on the corner where the theatre is we see 3 incredibly drunk women flirting and throwing themselves at a "For Lease Sign Spinner." They were laughing way too much, they were posing for pictures with him, and he was obviously frustrated that he couldn't leave his post to offer these ladies a ride home.

Maybe the kids won't notice? Wrong.

"Daddy, what are these girls doing?"
"Well, they're drunk. This is what happens to people when they drink too much alcohol. You lose control of yourself and end up doing things you wish you didn't."
"They're drunk? But it's the morning!"
(Thinking, "That's a good point,") saying "Yea, well, it looks like they have been drinking all night, and maybe now they're going home." (All the while, I'm thinking about Acts 2:15 with a renewed sense of understanding).
"Kids, this isn't the kind of attention you want to get from other people."
Amanda, age 5 1/2: "Yea, when I first saw them, I thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend."

But, wait, there's more.

When we arrived at the car, we were getting ready to pile in, and Ryan was carrying something in his hand. I had noticed a minute earlier that he had a quarter sheet of colored paper. I had assumed it was from his Sunday School class. Well, I got a closer look at the paper, there was a naked woman on the front! I didn't actually get a good look at it, but I said, "Uh... why does Ryan have porn in his hand?" Lainie grabbed it and it landed safely in the trash.


Reactions?
1. This is hilarious! If you can't laugh at life, you will lose your sanity.
2. Wow, lots to see in Downtown! Maybe this is how Solomon felt when he had to come up with his explanations for what his son saw in chapters 5 and 7.
3. Thank God Harbor Downtown is here!!