Gospel Journey #1: Help

The gospel first made it's impact on me in 1991. I was 16 years old. I had grown up Roman Catholic--I believed in God and knew that Jesus had died for sinners, but what I believed about God had very little impact on the way I lived my life.

I had hit a very low point in my life. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was that the girl I was dating dumped me. As far as I was concerned, my life was over. I didn't know what else to do. I knew that I needed help, and I didn't know where to turn.

The girl I had been dating had shared the gospel with me (she was a Christian, although I wasn't helping her much with her being a good Christian). She told me that to have a relationship with God meant that you ask Jesus into your heart and he forgives your sins. I thought it was interesting that she actually liked going to church (she wouldn't go out with me on Wednesday or Saturday nights because she didn't want to miss youth group), but I told her she was trying to sell fire insurance to someone who lives underwater. I thought God was proud of me. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I thought that God was pretty pleased with who I was.

The night she broke up with me, I was wondering how life would look for me going forward... and then I started thinking about God. I was realizing that I needed help. I wasn't doing such a great job at running my life. So I prayed:

"God, I'm not exactly sure what kind of commitment I can make to you right now, but I will do my best. I would like to go to church where Jenny goes, but that might be a little wierd considering the circumstances. Jesus, please come into my heart and help me to live a life that would please you."

That was it. That was the beginning of the journey for me. Amazingly, I actually felt pretty good about things after I prayed. I thought, "Well, as bad as the break up is, at least I have God in my life now." I was looking forward to telling Jenny the next day that I was happy that through this I had become a Christian.

Thinking over this experience, what made the biggest impact on me was the thought that I had begun a relationship with God. That really made me feel secure. I felt like I had a real sense of peace. There wasn't some watershed feeling of being forgiven, but I was convinced that at least I had a relationship with God and I was aiming in the right direction.