I think that sums up everything the Bible says about what is
means to be a father—both earthly and heavenly.
God is a Heavenly Father: in authority over His children. He is in charge.
BUT, God’s authority is loving. This means that God uses
every ounce of His authority to SERVE. This is what he does. God
doesn’t use His authority to serve Himself, but to serve us. His
instruction isn’t an effort to control us, but to show us the way to experience
the greatest life we could possibly live. God’s actions are always geared
toward saving, rescuing, nurturing, defending, protecting His people.
Even the wrath of God is a reflection of God protecting his children from their
(and His) enemies. God is in charge, and uses all of His in-charge-ness
to serve.
What’s the ultimate proof of this? Jesus! Jesus came
as God the Son, and yet Jesus is the revelation of the Father (John 14:8-9;
Colossians 1:15).
As Jesus shows us the Father, we see that Jesus is LOVING
AUTHORITY. Jesus said, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the
Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.
43 But it shall not be so among you.
But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 44
and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. 45
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to
give his life as a ransom for many“(Mark
10:42-45). Even Jesus’ Lordship is described as Loving Authority.
This is what it means to have God as Father. You live under His LOVING
AUTHORITY.
Earthly Fathers were intended by God to image their Heavenly
Father. God has designed earthly fathering to be REFLECTIVE and
TRANSITIONAL.
Reflective means that earthly fathers are supposed to be reflections
of God’s fathering. Everything I said above about God’s fathering should
characterize earthly fathering. Yes they have authority. But they
are to use their authority to serve their children. If an earthly father
is using his authority to serve himself, this is an abominable corruption of
God’s intention. Earthly fathers are to be like mirrors of God’s loving
authority. They are to be like windows, where God’s Spirit shines through
their words and actions.
Transitional means that earthly fathers have a diminishing
authority over their children as they get older. This is an important
reminder that the goal of earthly fathering is to so image Heavenly
Fathering, that children would see, experience, know, and love their Heavenly
Father. As children grow up, an earthly father transitions:
FROM: standing in between his child and God, reflecting God’s loving
authority, and interceding for them through prayer, nurture, and loving
instruction.
TO: taking his place alongside his child, together looking up and
experiencing God’s loving authority as brothers and sisters.
This brings both humility and a sense of stewardship to earthly
fathering. Humility because the earthly father knows that he too is under
God’s authority. Stewardship because he realizes that his child is
ultimately God’s child and so he is caring for a child of God.
This is what fathering is in the heavenly and earthly senses.
I would say that in our world, where we all fight against our
own weaknesses, we recognize that there is no perfect earthly father.
There has never been a perfect earthly father. Jesus was never an earthly
father, though He did perfectly express loving authority. With all human
efforts, we must make room for the need for God’s grace and forgiveness.
If we think about the Biblical standard of earthly fathering improperly, many
might toss it out as impossible. We need God’s grace, and we need to show
grace to earthly fathers who all fall short of the standard of reflecting God’s
fathering.
Having said that, I also believe that parenting is covenantal,
not simply biological. We see this clearly in a positive sense with
adoption. In adoption, parents make covenants, legally obligating
themselves as their bring children in as real members of their family.
I think the reverse is also true when it comes to
parenting. If parents are guilty of egregious abuse that violates the
covenant they make to care for their children, then I think that a child can
recognize that and, with great grief and lamentation, separate from his or her
parents. I believe that it’s important to forgive abusive parents, but
God doesn’t tell us that children have to keep letting their parents abuse
them. This takes wisdom and (I would recommend) the counsel of pastors
and elders to help people navigate these issues.
