Monday, October 24, 2011

Courageous Parenting: Psalm 19, part 2

Parents are called to raise their children in "the instruction of the Lord"(Ephesians 6:4).  Psalm 19:7-11 might be the best place to find a comprehensive description of what Jesus' instruction entails.
 
Psalm 19:7-11 
7 The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul;
the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple; 
8 the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; 
9 the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;
the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether. 
10 More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. 
11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
 
So great parenting (which also applies to all discipleship) involves helping our children (and those we are helping to grow spiritually) to be able to see  the first half of the lines in this Psalm, and to experience the second half of each line in this Psalm.
 
We want our children to see that
The Law of the Lord is perfect
The testimony of the Lord is sure
The precepts of the Lord are right
The commandment of the Lord is pure
The fear of the Lord is clean
The rules of the Lord are true
 
We want our children to experience that
The law of the Lord revives the soul
The testimony of the Lord makes wise the simple
The precepts of the Lord rejoice the heart
The commandment of the Lord enlightens the eyes
The fear of the Lord endures forever
The rules of the Lord are righteous altogether
 
If we can help them grow into seeing and experiencing Psalm 19, they'll conclude that God's law is more to be desired that riches or pleasures.
They'll conclude that God's law provides both warning and blessing.  Blessing if it's followed, helpful alarms and warning if it' s not.
 
How do you help kids (and adults for that matter) see that God's word is perfect, sure, right, pure, clean, and true?
 
How do you help kids (and adults for that matter) see that God's word can revive the soul, make wise the simple, rejoice the heart, enlighten the eyes, endure forever, and is righteous altogether?
 
I would study each one of these lines and try to think of particular situations where I could point this out to the kids and teach them the appropriate verse that goes along with it.  I would determine where I've experienced these things in my own life and share those things with them.

Different Ways of Convincing Others

Some people persuade and convince others to agree with them by simply stating their different position.

Some people persuade and convince others to agree with them by trying to translate what they believe into the langauge of the person they are trying to persuade. 

The first results in the others leaving where they are and entering into the new thinking domain of the person who convinced them.  They often will learn to articulate their new views by parroting the one who convinced them.  

The second results in someone staying where they are but bringing the new idea into their existing thinking domain.  They often will learn to articulate their new views within the domain where they are in language that is native to where they are.

This is a good explanation of different kinds of churches.  Some churches stand outside the culture and call folks from the culture to leave the culture and join the separate culture of the church.  Other churches want converts to stay within the culture where they are and come up with ways to speak the reality of Jesus into their culture.

Unfortunately, many of these two kinds of churches think their way is the only way, and they don't want to try to appreciate the other.  That is frustrating because they both need each other... and so does the world.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Courageous Parenting: The Instruction of the Lord, Psalm 19

Ephesians 6:4 says that parents need to raise their children using Jesus' discipline and instruction.  Hebrews 12 describes Jesus' discipline.  Psalm 19:7-11 may be the best place to summarize Jesus' instruction:

Psalm 19:7-11  
7 The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; 
the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;  
8 the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; 
the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;  
9 the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; 
the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.  
10 More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; 
sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.  
11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

The word "Law" in the Old Testament typically means "instruction."  It's not simply the rules of the Old Testament, but it's the totality of God's instruction to his people.  It includes the stories, the wisdom, the examples, the Psalms, and the rules.  We see that in this Psalm because it describes the law as including testimonies, precepts, commandments, fear, and rules.  

One of my favorite images for the "Instruction of the Lord" is the image of a path.  God's way is the path that leads to abundant life now (John 10:10) and eternal life to come (John 17:3).  Psalm 23:3 describes it as "the paths of righteousness."  We want our children to grow up on this path and to stay on it throughout their lives.  So we want to raise them in "the instruction of the Lord."  

How could these verses influence your parenting?  What could you do to help your children, or others to experience the reality of these verses?  We'll explore the lines of this Psalm in future posts.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Courageous Parenting: The Instruction of the Lord

Ephesians 6:4 says that parenting should should be characterized by "the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  What is "the instruction of the Lord"?

Instruction is a Greek word that means "counsel about avoidance or cessation of an improper course of conduct."  It can be translated "admonition or warning."  Here are the other places where the word is used in the New Testament:

Titus 3:10--Reject a factious man after a first and second "warning."

1Co 10:5-11--5 Nevertheless, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness.  6 Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did.  7 Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, "The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play."  8 We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.  9 We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents,  10 nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer.  11 Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.

The verb form of the word is used in these places:

1 Corinthians 4:14 I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children.

1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

2 Thessalonians 3:15 Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

What is striking is that this word is used to describe how to approach people who are part of God’s family, the church.  So the instruction of the Lord is designed for "brothers and sisters and children of the church."  Warning people as family members means that they are thought of as part of God's family. 

Acts 20:31; Rom 15:14; Col 1:28; Col 3:16 are the other instances where this word is used, and each is a place that describes how to treat people who are in the church.

So the instruction of the Lord is the warning that is given to people who are in God's family.  These are people who have a relationship with God.  If a relationship with God is a path that we walk on through life, then Ephesians 6:4 uses two terms that help us understand parenting.  The Lord's discipline is raising a child to stay on the path of a relationship with God.  The Lord's instruction is how you warn your children against leaving the path, or how to warn them if they have left the path. 

The Lord has a way of disciplining and instructing his children.  Both are tied to God's word and to the Gospel.  We've looked at how Hebrews 12 describes the Lord's discipline.  What is so moving is that when the Bible describes how Jesus warns us from leaving the path, he does it in a way that flows directly from the Gospel. 

Jesus does speak a lot--frankly we need his wisdom and insight for our lives.  But even more importantly, Jesus warns us as much through his actions as his words.  For every time that we fail to heed God's instruction, for every time we leave the path of our relationship with God, Jesus doesn't just speak to us to warn us, but Jesus went to the cross.  In going to the cross, Jesus both shows us the consequences of our sins, AND he shows us that he loves us enough to suffer the consequences of our sins.

Actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to instruction, warning, and parenting.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”  This is often quoted regarding people who are hypocrites.  When it comes to Jesus' warnings, though, it takes on a radical new dimension.  Our sins aren't just wrong, but they break down the fabric of shalom that God built into the world.  The guilt that we feel is designed to be an alarm that calls us back from our sins to restore the peace with God and others and ourselves. 

The guilt that we feel, especially the guilt that we feel from the verbal warnings of Jesus, these words that make us wonder if Jesus is a power-hungry, never satisfied perfectionist.  But when the sound of Jesus' words is mixed in with his consistent, self-giving love... a self-giving love that compelled him to offer himself on the cross...

...THEN his warnings are swallowed up with hope and possibility and love!

Jesus' death on the cross is the chief way that Jesus instructs/warns us.  He takes on our sins and demonstrates his love for us so much so that he sets us free.  He warns us as one who is so driven by love that he'll do anything to help us understand.  In the backdrop of all his warnings is the assurance of his love, that he has done everything necessary so that our relationship with God is never severed.

Two questions to make this practical:

FIRST:  In your life, in your personal relationship with Jesus, have you heard "the instruction of the Lord" in a duet with the cross?  Have you heard "the instruction of the Lord" as the cross itself?

Receive it!  Hear it!  It is true for you!  He loves you so much that before you ever heard his warning, he sacrificed himself so that you could be assured of his love and forgiveness.

SECOND:  How can you bring this "instruction of the Lord" to life in your parenting?  How can your parenting reflect the double way that Jesus warns us—in both words and actions?

For starters, it will mean understanding your kids.  Jesus words on the cross come racing to mind:  “Father, forgive them.  They don’t know what they are doing”(Luke 23:34).

Pray that God would show you.  In this you will be following Jesus more deeply, understanding him more personally.  Jesus trained disciples. You can connect your parenting to that aspect of his ministry.  This is something that will help you know him better.

Help me, Father, to show your love and restoring forgiveness as I instruct my kids!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Nathan's New Business


Nathan is raising money for this incredibly fabulous idea.  Who wouldn't want to have one of these?


Courageous Parenting: The Discipline of the Lord

How do we raise our children?  Ephesians 6:4 says to raise them in the disicpline and instruction of the Lord.

What is the discipline of the Lord?  Hebrews 12 is one great place where this concept is fleshed out.  Verses 5, 7, 8, 11 use this word "discipline." 

Heb 12:5-11 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

One thing that strikes me is that while I am seeking to raise my kids with God's discipline, I realize that in the process of me disciplining my kids, God uses that process to discipline ME!  That resets the whole process when I think that God wants to use the process in my life to make me like him as much as he wants to use it in my kids lives to make them more like him.  That's huge.

Verses 6-8 shows that the disicpline of the Lord is an affirmation of adoption.  The one being disciplined is a child of God.  That's good news.  God only disciplines his own children.  So if you're being discipline, remind yourself that this is a sign of God's love and care for you.

Then make sure that your love and care for your children comes across in the way that you discipline them.  This means affirming your love for them, caring for them and reminding them of the big picture of what discipline is for.

Verses 9-11  seem to be an encouragement not to be provoked to anger by God's discipline.  Don't get mad, realize that God is using it for you to grow and become all that he wants you to be.  God disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.  All discipline yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. 


Father, help me to welcome your discipline in my life. Let it bring peace to me!
And help me to reflect your purposes in my discipline of my kids.  By the way that I talk to them, by my own attitude, help me to show them love and purpose in the discipline.

I think to do this right with our kids, we need to be able to draw the lines between our discipline, and the changes that come in our kids' lives as a result of our discipline.  Drawing these lines will keep us sane (because it IS working--albeit slowly), and it will keep our kids encouraged (so that they can see God's plan IS working in their lives as they grow and mature). 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Parenting that Is Courageous

I saw Courageous last week.  It was an incredible movie.  I highly recommend it to everyone.  It's not perfect, but it's inspiring and it deals with real issues of parenting and being a dad that I personally deal with.  Great for Christians to encourage them to embrace God's call to intentionally parent.  Great for non-Christians to get to see how Christians think about the challenges and the solutions to parenting in our day and age.

My best endorsement of the movie is that it's made me want to grow as a Dad.  What does the Bible say about what makes a great parent?  It's pretty simple, though not easy for all it's simplicity.  Ephesians 6:4 sums up the role of parenting with one thing to do, and one thing not to do. 

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

So, two things:
  1. Do not provoke your children to anger. 
  2. But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord

Let's flesh this out a little:
1.  Do not provoke your children to anger.  Do not make them angry.  Do not exasperate your children.  Do not make their lives difficult, or frustrate them.  Do not debilitate them with frustration.  Do not pile on them.  Do not parent out of convenience for yourself, but parent out of love for your children.  Do not make them angry.  For me, this means I need to be more patient and more present.

2.  Raise them in the Lord's discipline and instruction.  This is a command to have your parenting mirror God's parenting.  Raise your children as God raises his children.  According to this verse, God raises his children through discipline and instruction.  God disciplines out of love, not anger (Psalm 103:13).  God instructs us so that we would become mature in Christ (Colossians 1:28).  This is done through gospel discipleship.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Webbed-Feet, Signs, and Children

If it quacks like a duck, then baptize your children!

Let’s play a game: I’m thinking of something…
It has feathers, and webbed feet. It swims and flies. And it quacks.

So here’s the first question: What kind of nose/mouth does it have?
Answer: A bill.
How do you know? Because after reading the description, you know it’s a duck, and you know what a duck’s nose/mouth look like.

Now a second question: What do it’s young do when it goes swimming?
Answer: The young follow, swimming in a line.
How do you know? Because it’s a duck and we’ve all seen that this is what the ducklings do.

Let’s play again: Now I’m thinking about something in the Bible…
It’s the sign of God’s covenant with people.
It meant you were in a relationship with God
It was a sign and a seal of God’s blessings
It was a physical act, but it had real, spiritual significance.
It meant that you were washed and forgiven.
It was a seal of the righteousness of faith
It meant that you had a new heart.

So here’s the first question: What is it?
Answer: Circumcision.
Surprised? Did you think I was going to say Baptism?
Do you think that circumcision was physical, but baptism is spiritual?
Do you think that circumcision was outward, but baptism is inward?
Do you think that circumcision merely indicated that the recipient was part of national Israel, but that baptism indicated that the recipient was part of God’s family?

These thoughts are not supported by Scripture.

Many people who argue for the practice of infant baptism do so on the basis of the practice of infant circumcision in the Old Testament. Those who are opposed to the practice of infant baptism respond that you can’t compare the two because they aren’t the same. Many claim that God applied the sign of circumcision to children because it was a merely an outward, physical sign in the flesh that has no bearing on the infant’s spiritual status before God. They argue that since baptism is entirely a spiritual reality, it cannot be applied to anyone who doesn’t have their own personal relationship with God, as confirmed by their own profession of faith.

While the reasoning makes some logical sense, it is contrary to what the Bible says about circumcision. Circumcision was the sign of God’s covenant with people. It was a physical act, but it had real, spiritual significance. It meant that you were washed and forgiven. It meant that you had faith and were considered righteous in God’s sight. It meant that you had a new heart and a new self.
If these things are supported by the Bible, then it shows that God has no problem putting a “Spiritual” and an “Inward” sign on infants. If these things are supported by the Bible, then God has no problem putting a sign on infants that says they have a relationship with him even before they make their own profession of faith.

Both Circumcision and Baptism have the same eight characteristics. See the chart with the Scripture references below (you'll have to click on it to see the last column):




This is compelling. It’s new to many people who have been taught a different understanding of circumcision. If baptism and circumcision have the same significance, and if circumcision was applied to the children of believers, then baptism should be as well.  Every argument that can be made against infant baptism can also be made against infant circumcision.  And the arguments against circumcision don't hold water.  This is why biblically speaking circumcision and baptism both quack to the same tune.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was an explicit verse that equated these two signs of God’s covenants? If only there was a passage that equated these baptism and circumcision, then the connection would be even more explicit… There is!

Colossians 2:11-12 In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead.

These two verses shows that in the New Testament, baptism is considered a circumcision made without hands. Baptism is the New Covenant sign that replaces circumcision for God’s people.
So, let’s go back and finish the game we started…
I’m thinking about something in the Bible…
It’s the sign of God’s covenant with people.
It meant you were in a relationship with God
It was a sign and a seal of God’s blessings
It was a physical act, but it had real, spiritual significance.
It meant that you were washed and forgiven.
It was a seal of the righteousness of faith
It meant that you had a new heart.

So here’s the first question: What is it?
Answer: We can’t tell! It’s either circumcision or baptism.
How do you know? Because these are both signs of God’s covenant and this is what the Bible says that God’s signs mean.

Now a second question: What happens to the children of believers with the sign of the covenant?
Answer: The children receive the sign—they are circumcised or baptized
How do you know? Because it’s a covenant sign, and God has been putting the sign of his covenant on the children of believers from the beginning of the Bible.

So baptize those children of believers! God wants them to grow up with the sign of his covenant!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Are Children Part of God's Covenant Family? New Testament Textual Proof for Infant Baptism

 
Ephesians 6:1-4 is an incredibly strong textual argument for infant baptism.  Both the instruction to children and the instruction to parents prove that in the New Testament, the children of one or more Christian parents were considered part of God’s covenant family.  If they are part of God’s family, then they should be given the sign of the Covenant.  Which means they should be baptized.

What’s interesting is that these are verses that EVERY church knows and would quote and teach its parents and children—even churches that don’t believe that children are part of God’s covenant family until AFTER they make their own profession of faith. See how the details of these verses make it abundantly clear that this was the teaching of the Apostle Paul and the early church. 

The Instruction to Children
Ephesians 6:1-3  Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  2 "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise),  3 "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land."  
  1. Obey “in the Lord.”  This means that they are “in the Lord.”  They are united to Jesus and so they should receive the sacrament that demonstrates this union.  Reading the rest of Ephesians helps you understand all that the phrase "in the Lord" means.  Paul uses this phrase over 25 times in 6 chapters.
  2. In verse 2, Paul quotes the 5th commandment, which was part of the covenant between God and his people in Exodus 20.  This means that they are in covenant with God, and so the sign of the covenant should be applied to them.
The Instruction to Parents
Ephesians 6:4  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
  1. The discipline and instruction of the Lord means “the Lord’s discipline and instruction.”  Hebrews 12 makes it perfectly clear that the Lord disciplines his CHILDREN.  He doesn’t discipline those who aren’t his children.  This means that if parents are to raise their children with God’s discipline and instruction, then parents are to treat children as though they are God’s children.  God’s children are part of his family.  God puts his name on his children and his covenant sign.
These verses clearly indicate that children were considered part of God's family.  They were in the covenant, and so they should be given the new covenant sign of baptism.

What's as important and maybe even more important is that this means that Christian parents should raise their children in the gospel, helping their children to grow in their experience of the blessings that they have from Jesus.