How do we raise our children? Ephesians 6:4 says to raise them in the disicpline and instruction of the Lord.
What is the discipline of the Lord? Hebrews 12 is one great place where this concept is fleshed out. Verses 5, 7, 8, 11 use this word "discipline."
Heb 12:5-11 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
One thing that strikes me is that while I am seeking to raise my kids with God's discipline, I realize that in the process of me disciplining my kids, God uses that process to discipline ME! That resets the whole process when I think that God wants to use the process in my life to make me like him as much as he wants to use it in my kids lives to make them more like him. That's huge.
Verses 6-8 shows that the disicpline of the Lord is an affirmation of adoption. The one being disciplined is a child of God. That's good news. God only disciplines his own children. So if you're being discipline, remind yourself that this is a sign of God's love and care for you.
Then make sure that your love and care for your children comes across in the way that you discipline them. This means affirming your love for them, caring for them and reminding them of the big picture of what discipline is for.
Verses 9-11 seem to be an encouragement not to be provoked to anger by God's discipline. Don't get mad, realize that God is using it for you to grow and become all that he wants you to be. God disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. All discipline yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
Father, help me to welcome your discipline in my life. Let it bring peace to me!
And help me to reflect your purposes in my discipline of my kids. By the way that I talk to them, by my own attitude, help me to show them love and purpose in the discipline.
I think to do this right with our kids, we need to be able to draw the lines between our discipline, and the changes that come in our kids' lives as a result of our discipline. Drawing these lines will keep us sane (because it IS working--albeit slowly), and it will keep our kids encouraged (so that they can see God's plan IS working in their lives as they grow and mature).
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